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+---
+title: Make Some Effort to Be Understood, Please
+date: 2025-12-20T17:33:00
+draft: false
+---
+
+So, my roommate just threw a litany of facts about psychoanalysis and Buddhism on me, like all kinds of name-dropping and inconsistent statements. I wasn't paying much attention because I was just taking a short break from my work, and honestly, I don't give a damn.<!--more-->
+
+I felt the urge to write something about this random experience immediately afterward. I think the reason is that — he made me feel bad about myself, like I was a muggle who cannot appreciate the beauty of philosophy, which I do read a lot about.
+
+Why do I feel that? I think it's because I don't feel seen. It feels like he's only talking to me when he needs an ear, who is human but always accepting, and doesn't talk back when there's a disagreement or merely a confusion. I had this impression because:
+
+* I expressed my unfamiliarity with the topic he's proposing, yet he kept dropping names (like those words you can't even find on the [Buddhism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism) Wikipedia page, something you have to dig deep to find out), without explaining anything.
+* He was talking about how Buddhism and psychoanalysis are connected, saying one thing from Buddhism is actually another thing from psychoanalysis, neither of which is explained! It's like saying "Hey, this multi-dimensional proton is actually that photon-quantum-ish quantifier from the famous Plato theory!" — just shut up. ==Why do you even utter a word when you know people won't understand, or why do you have to be so egotistic thinking everyone in the world cares about the same thing you do?==
+* He's not backing down, so I decided to take a little bit of my time exchanging ideas. He says a university is studying the relationship between Buddhism and psychoanalysis. I say, "Well, it sounds like they're trying to hard to make a connection here, which is what many Chinese academics do, especially in humanities." — because it's exactly what it sounds like. He didn't explain anything, so it's impossible to connect the dots! I expect to hear some convincing ideas, but I did not get what I want. He said, in response, "Well, they **are** fundamentally connected. **I** think it's meaningful work." — Still, he did not care to explain his words.
+
+Upon hearing his passive-aggressive response, I stopped talking and went back to my room. I don't like the energy there. As far as I'm concerned, keeping this conversation will do no good. (which is not actually a conversation, because you see, a conversation involves two individuals respecting each other, not just one person dumping unclear claims.) I've tried to exchange some ideas before, but his mind is not to be changed. He never stood corrected. And I'm not even trying to change his mind here. I just wanted to understand his opinion (or the opinions he read from someone else). Apparently, that was too much to ask for.
+
+Why do you engage in or even start a conversation, when you make no effort to be understood? It is as simple as defining some terms, clarifying some confusion, and making a goddamn point.
+
+By the way, this is exactly what people do on most of the Internet. They expect people to understand when they're only typing a few words or making a 2-minute video about their opinion (or is it really an opinion?). And when people don't understand (and they're supposed to not understand), they get mad, and yet another meaningless time-consuming Internet argument begins.
+
+Just stop. Please make some effort to be understood in the first place. Define the context. Explain the reasons. Answer questions without mistaking them as trolls. Learn to speak some meaningful words. If you find that's too hard to do in speech, then write. Start a blog. I'm sure there will be your audience on the Indie Web. Just don't pick me as your unwilling one.